Now That It's Over
by Shooting-the-Moon
Summary: Ian will never be able to forget that night. The worst night of his life. He begs for forgiveness, but can he forgive himself? Lucian songfic with a horrible summary. Actual story is much better.


**Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction, so sorry if there are any mistakes. I'll go ahead and warn you: I made it pretty sad. The ending may or may not be considered cheesy. Please review, but go easy on me! Don't be mad at me for writing about Lucy and Ian... The idea just fell into my head one day and I couldn't resist. I do realize that this situation is not at all what the song was written about, but it's what I imagined when I first heard it. Please don't hate me for what I did to the characters in this story!**

**Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Lucy Hale, Ian Harding, or anyone else mentioned in this story. I'm just a huge fan, hoping that they'll someday realize how perfect they are for each other. I also do not own the song _Lucy_ by Skillet.**

* * *

_**Hey Lucy, I remember your name.**_

_**I left a dozen roses on your grave today.**_

_**I'm in the grass on my knees wipe the leaves away,**_

_**I just came to talk for a while,**_

_**I got some things I need to say.**_

Ian approached her grave slowly. It was the first time he'd been there since the funeral. He knew he should come more, but he could never bring himself to. He felt too guilty. He reached his destination and sank to his knees, not caring that the grass was wet. He brushed the dead leaves away and stared at the headstone:

_Karen Lucille Hale_

_Beloved daughter, sister, and friend to all._

_You will forever be in our hearts._

_1 Thessalonians 4:13-17_

_**Now that it's over**_

_**I just wanna hold her.**_

_**I'd give up all the world to see**_

_**that little piece of Heaven looking back at me.**_

_**Now that it's over**_

_**I just wanna hold her.**_

_**I gotta live with the choices I've made,**_

_**and I can't live with myself today.**_

Ian cleared his throat. "Uh, hey Luce. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, so I decided that it was finally time to come see you." He swallowed. What he had to say next was hard, but he knew he had to tell her or he would go crazy. "I-I'm really sorry, Lucy. I-" His voice cracked as horrifying memories from that night flooded back to him…

_It was a late, stormy night. Ian Harding and Lucy Hale were lounging around on Ian's sofa, celebrating their six month anniversary. Any normal couple would have gone out to celebrate, but they couldn't. When they first started dating, they decided that they didn't want anyone to know. They wanted to avoid all the paparazzi and haters online getting in their business, making up rumors, and analyzing every aspect of their relationship. So they kept their love a secret. They often joked about how similar their relationship was to Aria and Ezra's on Pretty Little Liars._

_Completely out of the blue, Lucy blurted out, "I want to tell everyone about us." "What?!" Ian nearly shouted, completely taken aback. "You heard me! I'm tired of sneaking around and not being able to kiss you or hold your hand in public. I want everyone to know how happy we are." "Luce, I know you want that. I want it too, eventually. But we can't right now. People have finally stopped talking about you and Chris's breakup. They'll come up with all kinds of rumors about you cheating on him with me, or you breaking up with him for me, or you leaving him because you're pregnant with my child, or some other ridiculous story that will make you look like the bad guy. Knowing Chris, he'd probably go along with it and ruin your good name. It's a bad idea, Lucy!"_

_Lucy was hurt and extremely mad that he shot her idea down so quickly. "So what are we going to do, Ian? Live in secret for the rest of our lives? Elope and change our names so nobody ever finds out? What do you have in mind, since you know everything that's going to happen, no matter what?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm. Ian was surprised by how mad she was. She was yelling, so he yelled right back. "I don't know what we're going to do! But we can decide that later! We can't just drop a huge bomb like that! Everyone would go crazy!" Lucy was fuming. "Why do you care so much about what people think of us? It's _our_ life! We should be able to do whatever the hell we want!" "Well, we can't!" "Whatever. I think I should go."_

_She grabbed her purse and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She ran to her car and started sobbing. She hated fighting with Ian, but she couldn't see why this was such a big deal to him. Was he ashamed to be dating her? Was he not planning on this lasting very long?_

_She pulled out of the parking lot and began the short drive home. The storm was terrible, and her vision was blurry with tears. She felt so bad about leaving after such a stupid argument. She thought about what Ian had said, and realized he had a point._

_"I've gotta go back! I don't want to spend our anniversary like this!" she said to herself._

_She pulled out her phone and dialed Ian's number as she did a u-turn. He answered quickly. "Lucy?" "Ian, I-" Ian heard a gasp, a scream, and a horrible crunch of metal. The line went dead._

_"Oh my God, no!" Ian grabbed his keys and ran to his car as fast as he could. He jumped in and drove carefully, scanning the roads and straining his ears for the sound of sirens. He was shaking, scared to death. He _couldn't_ lose her , he just couldn't, especially after that fight. She was the love of his life. He needed her. He prayed the entire time, begging God to spare her life._

_After what felt like hour, but was really only a few minutes, Ian found what he was looking for. The gruesome scene made him nauseous. Lucy's car was upside down in a ditch. Some people were standing around it, trying to help. He ran down to her, not even bothering to turn his car off._

_"What happened?" he asked someone. "She tried to do a u-turn, and I guess she didn't see me coming until it was too late. She swerved so she wouldn't hit me. The road is so slick, she flipped into the ditch."_

_Ian and the other drivers somehow managed to get the car on its side. He looked inside and gasped when he saw Lucy, _his_ Lucy unconscious and covered in blood. Tears filled his eyes as he desperately tried to reach her. With some help from the bystanders, he was finally able to free her from the totaled car. He cradled her in his arms and carried her to a safe spot. Cautious of her wounds, he laid her down and put her head in his lap._

_"Lucy? Lucy, wake up! It's Ian, can you hear me? Please wake up! I love you, stay with me!"_

_He checked her pulse. It was deathly slow. He could tell she was fading fast. He did CPR until the ambulance arrived. The paramedics quickly began doing everything they could to save Lucy. Ian held her hand the whole time, refusing to leave her side._

_After about 10 minutes, the heart rate machine she was hooked up to let out the worst noise Ian had ever heard: a continuous beep. Lucy Hale was gone._

_The EMTs knew they couldn't bring her back, so they didn't argue when Ian laid his head on her chest and sobbed. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" he kept repeating._

_Everyone's heart broke when he pulled the little velvet box out of his pocket and said, "I never got to ask you to marry me."_

Should I make this a new chapter?

_**Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday.**_

_**They said it'd bring some closure to say your name.**_

_**I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance.**_

_**But all I have are these roses to give,**_

_**And they can't help me make amends.**_

"Lucy, I'm so sorry about that night. I was so stupid. I should have listened to you. Your idea was much better that mine, anyway. I knew I shouldn't have let you go. You were too upset to drive and that storm was horrible. I should've gone after you. It's all my fault, I should be the one in the ground right now, not you!"

Ian broke down. He tried to regain his composure. "I brought you something. I know how much you loved flowers, so I thought I'd bring you some." He arranged the bouquet of roses in front of her headstone. "There. I know it can never make up for what happened, but I had to give you one last gift."

_**Now that it's over,**_

_**I just wanna hold her.**_

_**I'd give up all the world to see**_

_**that little piece of Heaven looking back at me.**_

_**Now that it's over,**_

_**I just wanna hold her.**_

_**I gotta live with the choices I've made,**_

_**and I can't live with myself today.**_

"I'd give anything for you to be here right now, Lucy. There are so many things I never got to tell you. I wanted to tell you I love you one more time, I wanted you to know that I wasn't mad at you anymore, I…I wanted to marry you. I bought you a ring and everything. I was just waiting for the perfect time to ask you. Now you'll never know, and that's what kills me. I hope you somehow got that silent message I was trying to send you when I was looking for you. I hope you knew how much I loved you. I'll never forgive myself for this."

_**Here we are, now you're in my arms.**_

_**I never wanted anything so bad.**_

_**Here we are for a brand new start,**_

_**living the life that we could've had.**_

_**Me and Lucy walking hand in hand,**_

_**Me and Lucy never wanna end.**_

_**Just another moment in your eyes.**_

_**I'll see you in another life,**_

_**in Heaven, where we never say goodbye.**_

Ian sat at Lucy's grave for a long time, crying and thinking about what could have been. He pictured her in a white dress, walking down the aisle to him; little mini-Ians and mini-Lucies running around; the two of them growing old together. It broke his heart to know that it would never happen.

_**Now that it's over,**_

_**I just wanna hold her.**_

_**I'd give up all the world to see**_

_**that little piece of Heaven looking back at me.**_

_**Now that it's over,**_

_**I just wanna hold her.**_

_**I've gotta live with the choices I've made,**_

_**and I can't live with myself today.**_

_**Here we are, now you're in my arms,**_

_**Here we are, for a brand new start.**_

_**I've gotta live with the choices I've made,**_

_**And I can't live with myself today.**_

_**Me and Lucy walking hand in hand, **_

_**Me and Lucy never wanna end.**_

_**I've gotta live with the choices I've made,**_

_**And I can't live with myself today.**_

"I miss you, Luce. So much. I'm so lost without you. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way you'd kiss me in the middle of my sentences. You were so compassionate and generous. You were the greatest person I ever knew." Ian took a deep breath. "I hope you can hear what I've been saying to you. I'm so sorry about what happened. I wish I could take your place. Life without you sucks. You were the love of my life, and I'll never love anyone else the same way. What we had was one of a kind. I'll always love you. I don't know what the rules are up there in Heaven, but if you can hear me, if you can forgive me, and if you still love me, please let me know somehow."

"I'll be back to visit you again soon. I promise. Bye, Lucy."

Ian got up, wiped his face, brushed himself off, and walked back to his car. As he was about to pull out of the cemetery, he turned back for one last look at Lucy. As soon as he looked, the clouds parted a bit and sunlight shone down on her grave. A feeling he couldn't explain spread through him, a feeling of relief and joy. As he drove away, a quiet little voice whispered in the wind, "I love you, Ian."

_**Hey Lucy, I remember your name.**_


End file.
